Thursday, June 12, 2008

Do you feel like an asshole?




We are naturally ethical people, we feel guilty when we lie, steal or cheat. The only thing that'd make us feel worse is if we get caught trying to lie, steal or cheat. Simply put, no one wants to be a dick or look like one …and the few that are fine with label lead prosperous careers selling grey import hummers in Aweer.

Yes I know, you're probably thinking ‘fuck me I should’ve thought of that how insightful’, and you'd be right in doing so, because it is through the ephiphany you wish you had that I have ingeniously crafted this new way to evaluate creative work. Whatsmore, a tool that allows you to test the distance between the claim and the substantiation.
I rarely toot my own tooter but this brilliant formula will change the way advertising works and dispensing it upon our industry is probably my reason for being. So here it is

Pick up the ad you'd like to evaluate,skim over it then read it out loud to yourself in the tone you best see fit. Once you’re done reading the very last word on the ad listen very carefully… If you hear nothing, then you’re ad is good to go. However, if you hear a strangely familiar voice resembling your own yell out ‘dick head!’, then maybe it’s best you go back to the drawing board...The larger the distance between claim and substantiation...the larger a dick we feel. So reading Neons (outdoor media company) 'Buy me I'll change you're life forever' conjured up images of Long Don Silver and Ron jeremy.

Simple, easy, effective. Do you feel like a dickhead reading the ad?

Now some of you more gullable creatures may be wondering whether or not your inner check is in check...So here's a test to run that will help you find out.
Pick up the nearest magazine or newspaper, flick through it until you reach any ad for a property developer…read it out to yourself and again, listen carefully. If you don’t hear the voice, then stop wasting your time in this industry and head on up to Aweer.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it weird that everyone elses ads I hear this huge scream of DICKHEAD, CUNT, TOSSER, WANKER

Then I mop my brow, have a look at my ads and I hear nothing but choir music, birds singing sweetly and the humming of a beautiful women.

But then again, I am the Doogie Howser of advertising

Anton x

1:36 PM  

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